Embracing Resilience

I've had a rough couple of days this week, receiving some bad news related to work. This news had many implications, affecting various aspects of my life, such as traveling to new places, job stability, professional and personal settling down, and more. It's a lot to handle for someone in their twenties. Moreover, when such significant issues arise, it's not just you who feels the weight; your family and friends also share the burden, feeling uneasy and worried. It becomes a major milestone in everyone's life.

Coming from a middle-class family, supporting oneself and the family is nothing new to me. It's almost an unspoken rule, a part of our values. Why shouldn’t it be? Our parents are the reason we are who we are and where we are today. Taking care of them in their old age is not just a duty but a blessing. This week's topic of discussion is how to handle bad news like a champion and understand your loved ones during your worst times.

Everyone has a different way of coping with sadness. As an introverted person, I tend to bury myself in mundane activities to avoid focusing on the dreadful news. At the same time, I tend to overthink. I find myself contemplating all the possible outcomes of the situation, even though these scenarios are future events that may or may not happen. Over time, I have learned to control this overthinking, but it wasn't always the case. If you had known me a year ago, you would have noticed my introverted nature and my overthinking at a much more intense level.

There is a quote from Seneca that I always remember when I feel overwhelmed by my thoughts. He says, "We suffer more in imagination than in reality." This quote helps me stay in the present moment and stop envisioning all the worst outcomes that may never happen. It serves as a reminder that often, our fears and anxieties are more about what we imagine could happen rather than what is actually happening.

I also have a personal philosophy about expressing my emotions. Whether I’m sad, angry, crying, or mad about things not going my way, I allow myself to feel those emotions for 10-15 minutes. After that, I say to myself, "If not this, then better than this," and I try to move on. Of course, there are times when I need multiple rounds of those 10 minutes, but the whole point is to stop dwelling on things that are beyond my control and move forward. It's important to remember that for things we cannot control, we shouldn’t expect anything in return. We should focus on doing good deeds and trust that good will come back to us in some way.

This philosophy aligns with a teaching from the Bhagavad Gita, an ancient Indian scripture, which talks about karma. It says, "You have the right to work only, but never to its fruits. Let not the fruits of action be your motive, nor let your attachment be to inaction." This teaching emphasizes that we should focus on our actions and efforts, without being overly concerned about the outcomes. It’s a lesson in detachment and perseverance, encouraging us to continue doing our best regardless of the results.

Understanding and supporting loved ones during tough times is also crucial. When I received the bad news, my family and friends were there for me, sharing my anxiety and concern. Their support made a significant difference, reminding me that I'm not alone in this journey. It's important to communicate with your loved ones, letting them know how you feel and allowing them to be there for you. Their perspective can provide comfort and sometimes offer solutions or insights that you might not have considered.

Coping with bad news is never easy, but with the right mindset and support system, it becomes manageable. For me, remembering Seneca’s wisdom, practicing my 10-minute rule, and adhering to the principles of karma from the Bhagavad Gita have been instrumental in navigating these challenging times. These philosophies help me stay grounded and focused, enabling me to handle adversity with resilience and grace.

In conclusion, life will inevitably throw challenges our way, but how we respond to them is what defines us. By staying present, managing our thoughts, expressing our emotions, and seeking support from our loved ones, we can navigate through difficult times and emerge stronger. Remember, it's not the end of the world; it's just a part of the journey. Keep moving forward, and better days will come.

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TUESDAY WITH MORRIE - MITCH ALBOM

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